Embrace it

So, admittedly its been a long time since I have updated this blog. I could bore you with excuses in a vain attempt to explain my lack of content but since I have very few followers I wont, but I digress. The fact is I have decided to make an effort and actually contribute to society, and by “society” I’m obviously referring to this blog. So here it is, just one of my sweaty little chunks of the internet, abandoned, barely conscious, crying in the dark, abused, and left to die like some kind of like an SVU victim.



My “Blog”, my own little soapbox, my very own virtual megaphone to spew my most vile thoughts and ignorant rants, directly into your homes, dorms, and workplaces, and of course lets not forget public record. Yes this is my very own, very closely supervised interaction with the outside world. All of it recorded, burned, cashed and archived. and readily assessable to anyone with enough patience and the ability to manage a few clicks of the mouse. Scary thought, huh?

I don’t recall where I got the phrase but I once heard someone say...
“Putting something on the internet is like pissing in the swimming pool.”

because lets face it, once it’s in there it aint coming back out. So sticking with the whole uncomfortable abuse theme, I would like to talk about Facebook, Twitter and their creepy uncle MySpace.

If I'm being honest, I'll admit that the unfortunate abandonment of this blog can be directly linked to my my addiction to Mafia Wars, and the inclusion of "microblogging" into my everyday routine, I mean who has time to write a few paragraphs about whats going on in there lives when we can just pull out our phones and in less the 140 characters express exactly how gross the bus smells.



But where has this convenience left us, are we intentionally lowering our attention spans? We as a species have spent thousands of years trying to express ourselves. Generations of art, anger, and love, thrown into a frying pan and reduced down to 140 character tweets. Is it possible we have all but perfected the art of expression, or have we lost something?

lets play a game, well... ok it's more like a quiz, but bear with me.

When was the last time you sat through a movie without talking?

When was the last time you listened to an entire album?

When was the last time you watched television without being otherwise distracted by food, or the phone, or a laptop?

Now I'm not picking on anyone here I'm just trying to make a point, I mean I'm the last person to be casting judgment thanks to Netflix, the internet and Tivo I don't think I have see a commercial in the past five years. well unless you count the funny ones I watch on YouTube. (Those "hello, I'm a Mac" spots kill me.)


I don't think I could answer any of those questions myself, because I honestly don't know, Jesus I don't even watch "television" on the television anymore. If It seems like I'm just calling the kettle black here. I'm not.


This is my culture, We consume it is out duty. the more we consume the better we are for it. I want you to think about every complaint, gripe, and snobby or disparaging remark you have ever uttered about Facebook, Twitter, or Myspace. Ok now that they are fresh in your head slam your head against the floor to your immediate left. Did it Hurt? Good you deserved it. So, Instead of pissing and moaning about whats wrong with a generation desensitized to their surroundings. Instead of disregarding a bunch of sociopaths who only see the world through a 420X270 pixle wide Youtube video, as mindless sheep led to slaughter. Instead of whining about "social networks", just fucking embrace them, call your parents and your grandparents get them online get them on Facebook, get them addicted to Mafia Wars and have them gift me a "untraceable cell phone" The worst case scanario is grandma reads your latest tweet about waking up on piss stained bathroom floor with your pants arond your ankles and "Likes" it.

Arts, Crafts, & Camoflage.

Question: What do you do when your fat ass tears your favorite camouflage shorts?

Well personally I beg my wife to Patch them, to the best of her ability. My wife, by the way knows her way around a sewing machine the way the Wu-Tang Clan know there way around kung fu flix.



Second Question: What if you do when your, extremely determined aforementioned "fat ass" tears through them again?

Well personally I continue to wear them around the house until aforementioned wife threatens to kill me for going outside to get the mail wearing them.



Solution: Convince the little lady to make me a sleeve for my shiny "new to me" Macbook pro.



Complete with original label...



...custom fit, no less. Snug, as a bug...



...in a rug.



She even used the original cargo pocket for power adapter and mouse.



Not to mention using the all the buttons to make the freaking thing secure.


So there it is, a thing of beauty. With any luck my fat ass wont tear through it ever again, and I wont risk anymore "Indecent Exposure" charges.

Back Beat

I have been sitting here...

Christ my webcam sucks...

SO yeah anyway, I'm sitting here listening to a bunch of new music, well new to me. I downloaded something called BREAKONOMICS. I now have sixty albums (yes I said SIXTY) of some of the most amazing "back beat" orientated songs I have ever heard.

*clears throat*, uhhum.

In music, a "back beat" is a term applied to a specific style of rhythmic accentuation with accent on even beats. The term can also apply to those even beats themselves.

How about some examples:
Sharon Jones & Dap Kings @ Amoeba: How Do I Let A Good Man Down?

(Please excuse the Muppet dancing around the restaurant.)

Donny Hathaway - Jealous Guy

(who would have thought that someone could sing a john Lennon song better then Paul McCartney, Ouch!)

Placebo - Humpty Dumpty

(it was either the album cover or someone calling the intro gay, the latter made me chuckle.)

Keith Mansfield - Funky Fanfare

(made famous by people sampling the shit out of it.)

That ends the music lesson.

I'm blown away about the sheer number of songs that I have NEVER heard before, as eclectic of a music fan as I am, and I am just scratching the surface of this genre. I'm so excited it's kind of ridiculous. So I guess what I'm trying to get across is this.

Marching to the beat of a different drummer is only worth it IF said drummer can keep time.

True Story.

A few weeks ago I swung over to the local mall. My goal was simple, picking up GEARS OF WAR 2 at the local gamestop. To my dismay I was 2 days early I hadn't realized that the game wasn't being released until the Friday that week and I showed up Wednesday. So this wasn't that big of a deal, Or was it?

At that point which would have been around November fifth I had been without my Diabetes meds for about a week. Unfortunately when my blood sugar gets high I get a bit mean spirited, well I become an asshole. But Now, I KNOW this and if I learned anything from a childhood watching cartoons, it's that "Knowing is Half the Battle!"

I thought to myself, I'll grab an Iced Coffee At the Dunkin' and head home before blow my lid and do something stupid.

So I get in line at Dunkin'. There is a woman ordering two dozen doughnuts... at the mall... that the Dunkin Donut Kiosk ...AT THE FUCKING MALL!

"Breath, relax chill out."
I repeat in my head.
"Breath, relax chill out."

...And I do, I take a deep breath, I relax, and I order my Coffee.

"Large Iced Hazlenut, Four Slenda, Extra Cream."

The woman turns to me and with a straight face says. "Your crazy. that stuff will give you Cancer."

I can't believe this. "wh-wh-what?"

She continues. "that much, well any splenda, It'll give you cancer."


I tell her that I'm diabetic, and I'll take my chances, and I thank her. I'm still polite, and calm, and relaxed.

"And Seizures or epilep..."

Yeah, I yelled at her. But I got my coffee. =)

Thanxgiving

So every year I think about what exactly I have to be thankful for. This year... Well this year it was a little tougher to come up with a list, what with the Lay off, the loosing my insurance, and my families growing dependencies. The fact is, no matter how many junkies there are or how little diabetes pills I don't have. There is always somethings to be thankful for.

My friends, who are a welcome replacement for a family in this city.





That the ZOMBIE Apocalypse has yet to begin.


That when it does CHUCK NORRIS is still alive to deal with it.







And of course.

Not having RAMEN at Thanksgiving dinner.

I don't care How just your cause is...

     Listen, I respect your right to gather, to tie up traffic, to protest, to get your message out there any way you can. anyway that is EXCEPT for hounding me to take a flier. I told you I didn't want one, I told you I wasn't interested and still you stuffed that stupid fluorescent green piece of paper in my hand. Now I really do wish you had been trying to save the planet by handing me a dead tree, but I honestly wasn't listening to you well enough to find out.

     Also I'm sorry if you were embarrassed when I crumpled the pamphlet and threw it in your face, I am also shocked that the cop standing right there, made YOU pick it up at the threat of a citation for littering. That's fucked up. Maybe if you had been pissing and moaning about the abuse of power the Cambridge police exhibit, I would have been more interested in your cause... Well, probably not, you see I was on my way to get coffee. I'm a bit of a brute without my coffee in the morning.

Civil Protection

Civil Protection - Halloween Safety


Civil Protection - Episode 1: Friday